Questions After Surgery - My Dad's Story

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Fri, 23 May 2008 02:32:09 +0100

Patty, My girls sat and said very little until I was ready. I knew they were there and caring but it bothered me somehow. Dad's don't like it when their little girls(no matter the age) are sad and concerned and the concern is only magnified by the pain and side effects of the medication. Just be there. Families deal with this awful diagnosis by coming closer together to rally behind the cause to beat it! And, believe it or not - it really is possible to beat it. Your dad's life will never be the same. It can't be. He may be depressed and seem different for some weeks or months to come but you will get your dad back. He obvious loves you very much - otherwise you couldn't love him as much as you obviously do. My final word is prayer. Pray for dad and you and family. Pray for healing and renewed joy. I do, and will for you. - rblakeonline

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Mon, 14 Apr 2008 20:47:27 +0100

Hi Patty, I agree with what the others are saying, speak to someone about the pain that you dad is having, expect that he will be iritable for the time being exp if he is in alot of pain, things will start to settle down soon, as leigh said just being there & not even talking is comforting, when my Dad had his r/c my mum, sister & I spent almost all day at the hosipital, but we only visited Dad for short periods then went of & left him to rest, but the staff & Dad knew we were still in the hospital if we were needed. I am so glad that we did this as I felt that dad just wanted to rest, but still knowing that we were only a minute away was comforting for us & him.
Regards, Cathy. - cathy

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Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:02:35 +0100

I'm kind of seconding what others here have said...there should be a pain management team in place at the hospital and i would go to the Head Nurse and ask for a consult for your Dad. Sometimes the nurses are overworked...won't get around to it...I had a similar problem...noone noticed that i was not actually getting my pain meds the first day...the pain management team came down that evening and said i was not pushing my button enough....well that wasn't true...turned out there was a kink in the tubing and i wasn't getting anything. Be dads voice for him....Pat - Patricia

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Mon, 14 Apr 2008 11:46:11 +0100

Dear Patty,

I am happy to hear that your dad's RC surgery was successful.

Thinking back to my RC last September I too was very irritable the first week until things started to settle.

My partner came every day to support me but sometimes all I wanted to do was hold hands because even talking was too much effort.

The drugs your dad is on at the moment and the big operation he has just received all have an effect on your dad's behaviour.

Just the presence of you being their will be enough for your dad right now and I am sure each day you will see an improvement.

Pain meds can be adjusted and please talk to his nursing team about the pain and discomfort he is in.

Daily the nursing staff and doctors asked me how I was and even though sometimes I was in pain or discomfort I never said anything because I did not want to be a burden to anyone...how stupid was that....it certainly did not help my situation though so please be a voice for your dad.

Being bed bound on your back not being able to turn will be uncomfortable but should be pain free....

This phase will pass also and before you know it he will be walking around the ward.

I wish you lots of strength during your dad's recovery....

Kind Wishes
Leigh

- Leigh

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Mon, 14 Apr 2008 10:25:45 +0100

Patty,

If he is in that much pain, you should talk to the nurses and have them contact the Dr. His dosage may need to be adjusted. Also, make sure that they are watching for a bowel movement. Since he is on Pain Meds, he will get constipated. Add this to the fact that his intestines were cut, and that can add a lot to the pain. He may need something for gas, as well as for constipation. There is no reason in 2008 that someone should be in the hospital with uncontrolled pain.

It is awful to watch someone you love in pain, and not be able to help. By contacting the staff you will be getting answers and helping. It might be best to talk with them in the hallway, or at the nurses station. Sometimes it just adds to the stress level if you discuss this in front of the patient. Your father and the Dr have the ultimate decision anyway so they should not give you a hard time even with the Hippa Laws.

Thinking of you,
Karen - momof4