Story of bladder cancer odessy by Rocky

Posted by: Rockyiss in bladder cancer on Mar 30, 2008 Print PDF

Hi everyone, hope you are all well. Tomorrow we go back to the hospital for the first chemo treatment, they are going to keep him because they expect the tumor to die off fast and they have to make sure it doesn't ruin his kidneys. He told me to go skiing today as it was the last day of the season, I went but didn't stay long , it's like my son said whats the point.
  I have been thinking of my bladder cancer more and I guess that is natural, and I wonder does it scare me yet. I know to some I might sound flip about the bc sometimes and if I have ever offended anyone that is going thru the hard part of b.c. I am so sorry. I just have never been scared for myself about it, I don't know why either. Maybe because I have had alot of sickness and pain already it just doesn;t matter anymore , whatever happens to me happens. I think of my husband the man I have loved for 36 years and think of how lost I would be without him if things went bad and wonder how I would deal with it . We have been together since I was 18, but I would deal with it because it is part of life , this having to let go. I know I serve a Master who loves me, I don't understand very much about the why of things in this life , like when I read the storys on here, or when I volunteered at a childrens hospital,all the pain . Sometimes we just seem so tired it would be nice to lay down under a tree and wake up somewhere safe. But all life is sweet and I am thankful for mine and the good people on this site that share their love for others . You guys are very special and in my prayers,may you have the strength today to do something that you love to do and that makes you laugh ! love from Rocky
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Leigh
March 31, 2008




Sometimes we just seem so tired it would be nice to lay down under a tree and wake up somewhere safe.


Dear Rocky,

That sounds great to me too with all of our worries brushed away by the gentle breaze swishing in the canopy.

I just wanted to wish your husband well with his first chemo and hope that all goes well and the cancer zapped away quickly. 

Chemo's are so varied and your husband will be getting a treatment plan for his specific type of cancer and the effects and results can be so different. As you know though it will be a difficult time as no chemo regime is a walk in the park.

You are juggling many emotions at the moment and I wish you lots of strength at this time.

Please do continue to listen to your own needs and even though you have to concentrate on your husband at the moment your BLC should not be overlooked.

Wishing you both positive thoughts and kind wishes.

Leigh     



Clara
March 31, 2008

Rocky,
It really does sound like you have more than your share right now.

Please keep us posted and know that love and prayers are with you.
Clara
Rockyiss
May 05, 2008
69.89.171.182

Hi everyone, I havn,t been able to get on the new format till today and I hope I am doing this right.
I have been very busy with my husband and his lymphoma, chemo, Dr's app, and watching over him. He did his third chemo last week and it is hitting him harder.
He has been after me to set up my next scope for the end of the month to make sure the bc isn'nt coming back since I had that recurr in Feb. My daughter also hasn't forgotton my bc and has been after me too.
My husband won,t be able to make the trip with me since it is three and a half hours one way. I don't want to leave him for that long but my daughter said she will stay with him, and my son would go with me for the scope.
I am usually able to keep a positive additude but then I start to wonder how we would manage if my bc got worse, I just have to throw those thoughts out of my head. It is so good to be able to vent to you guys.
One day last week he went to work for awhile and told me to take a hike so I got my backpack, and dog and headed for the woods. It felt good to be out there again for alittle while.( and he was glad to get to work for that time).
It was so hard not to be able to post to you guys and I'm still not sure I am doing this right. One of the things that has been hard is trying to deal with his cancer privately. It seems everyone thinks they have a right to know every little detail. (the only ones I have told about my bc is my kids), my husband owns his own buisness and it can hurt it the way people gossip. We told one person we thought we could trust about a Drs app. and the next thing we knew it came back to us that he was full of cancer and in the hospital dying ! The banks you deal with don't like to hear that!! So he has been out and about to show one and all he is still here.
Does anyone else out there feel that it's not wrong to want to deal with this stuff in your own way? I chose to keep my bc to myself because I was tired with having labels attached to me about my health. It was like I was the disease I had and not me . But then the guilt tries to creep in that I should educate people about bc, that maybe they will change some bad habits ( they won't will they) you always think it can't happen to me , right. Evan though it is May we still have some snow on our ski slope, maybe I ought to sneak in and ski one more time!!
Even though it seems that we have been hit hard with the cancers ,God is still God and still on the throne, and that still gives me peace to deal with whatever comes our way . I pray for all of you even when this site gets the better of me and I can,t get on .I thank you all again for giving me a place to exspress myself . Love and prayers , Rocky

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