I'm so glad I found this site. My Mom was diagnosed with what our urologist called a "vicious" bladder cancer in Sep. A year ago she went to her doctor with symptoms that could have been a myriad of things. No treatment worked. She thought because of her age (78), it was just a prolapsed bladder. In Aug. I finally saw how much blood she was really losing. I took her to the doctor and he was immediately concerned and scheduled her for a larger scope the next day. What he found was a baseball sized tumor that had already spread to the muscle and fatty tissue. He was only able to remove half of it. The CT scan showed it had spread to the lymphatic system and a primary tumor on her liver. She decided that at her age and the fact that she would not be able to withstand such a radical surgery as bladder removal (which wouldn't have helped at this point anyway), she is forgoing any treatment. She was hospitalized again last Sunday and her doctor found that in just that short of time both of her ureters are partially blocked and she's going into kidney failure. My husband and I decided that she would come and live with us for the duration. She's getting weaker and losing quite a bit of blood. Unfortunately, she doesn't have much time left. Things are progressing much quicker than we had anticipated. This situation came only 2 mos. after losing my mother-in-law to pulmonary fibrosis in July. We had taken care of her also for 5 years. She died at home wth us surrounded by her family. That is our wish for my Mom as well. If only when she presented with symptoms a year ago, her doctor would have saw that after getting no response from antibiotic therapy, that he should have ordered further tests. All he had to do was check her urine for cancer cells. Now I'm losing my Mom as well as just losing my MIL. I would like to hear from patients or caregivers that have chosen for any reason to forgo treatment in order to preserve quality of life and what they experienced. Our former hospice nurse is now at our house again, taking care of our family. Thank you for allowing me to post on this site and I hope that everyone of you going through this has a quick recovery and quality of life. I only wish my Mom's doctor would have been smart enough to check things out further.