My name is Patricia and my husband is Richard. I’m the caregiver, support giver, medicine giver etc. etc. etc. I do not resent doing all these as I love him dearly, but why did he have to get bladder cancer which ended up with surgery? Now, no bladder, no prostate, ureters glands, nodes . Actually, nothing south of the waistline. He is 73 and I’m 64. We loved to dance, sing, had a round and square dance band and loved to do many other things as well. He is my second husband, my first husband and the father of my six children died of leukemia 26 years ago. Richard is divorced from his first wife and has 4 children. We have none between us. My anger quite often takes over when I need to block out the fear. We now have hospice and he is on large amounts of morphine. (the patch) Maybe I am full of self pity. I forgot to mention that the cancer is and has been in the bones for about three months. The surgery was 2 years ago. During those 2 years he never regained the strength or energy that had been predicted..Several doctors told us many things that made the future look pretty rosy. But then the glasses cleared up and things weren’t so rosy. I had planned a very different retirement for us, but that’s all been changed.
The last page of this story is that Richard died on March 1, 2000 with all of our children and grandchildren, and great-grandchildren here to see him through his last battle. He was very brave and ready to die, and as much as we didn’t want to, we all reassured him that he could go and that it was okay. It was a very sad and a very brave time for all of us. Because we did love him so much, we had to let go so that he could.. I have kept very busy with volunteer work in the community and in the church, but I still have those moments of sadness. But at the same time I thank God for the many years of happiness that we had together. I hope his story gives some one else the courage and strength to cope with this terrible disease in the best way possible… If you have any questions please feel free to ask them. I would like to say that the Hospice organization can be so very helpful to the patient and to the family in helping them cope with the death of their loved one.