Hi everyone, hope you are all well. Tomorrow we go back to the hospital for the first chemo treatment, they are going to keep him because they expect the tumor to die off fast and they have to make sure it doesn't ruin his kidneys. He told me to go skiing today as it was the last day of the season, I went but didn't stay long , it's like my son said whats the point.
  I have been thinking of my bladder cancer more and I guess that is natural, and I wonder does it scare me yet. I know to some I might sound flip about the bc sometimes and if I have ever offended anyone that is going thru the hard part of b.c. I am so sorry. I just have never been scared for myself about it, I don't know why either. Maybe because I have had alot of sickness and pain already it just doesn;t matter anymore , whatever happens to me happens. I think of my husband the man I have loved for 36 years and think of how lost I would be without him if things went bad and wonder how I would deal with it . We have been together since I was 18, but I would deal with it because it is part of life , this having to let go. I know I serve a Master who loves me, I don't understand very much about the why of things in this life , like when I read the storys on here, or when I volunteered at a childrens hospital,all the pain . Sometimes we just seem so tired it would be nice to lay down under a tree and wake up somewhere safe. But all life is sweet and I am thankful for mine and the good people on this site that share their love for others . You guys are very special and in my prayers,may you have the strength today to do something that you love to do and that makes you laugh ! love from Rocky