Story so far

Well we are doing Ok
We have all had awful colds and I nearly ended up in hospital with a chest infection but things are slowly getting better.
Weight continues to be an issue and I must try to put some on,other issues are tiredness and loss of feeling in my fingers and feet.Typing takes forever hence very short messages.I have had a few crisis lately one caused by friends and family having babies I would have so loved another child and feel so sad that the option has been taken away from me. I had a truely awful leak issue yesterday we went shopping and I must have caught my bag leaning over filling shopping baskets and it leaked marking my clothing it felt really embarrassing and I was so ashamed.
otherwise things are going OK I feel a lot better than this time last week and as the record says the only way is up!!
Love Claire
What a rough week I was certain the cancer had spread to my brain.Its almost funny now but not at the time.I had a really bad headache over the weekend which I never suffer from by Tuesday it was so bad I was being sick and couldnt lift my head off the pillow.Another hospital admission with CT scans lumber puncture followed all of which were clear and I was discharged on Friday.My heads still sore but loads better no one could say what caused it or wether its going to be an after effect of the chemotherapy that continues.The moral of the story is every ache and pain is not the cancer coming back progressing or whatever and dont panic.But I must admit I thought that this was it.
Hopefully next time I will be more rational but somehow I doubt it.
 Love to you all Claire.x
The last week has been fine I am slowly starting to feel more like me.The weathers been lovely and we spent the weekend at the coast in my Aunt and Uncles holiday home.Its really beautiful a converted barn on the Norfolk coast at Brancaster.It did us all the world of good we took long walks along the beach had picnics and took a boat trip to see seals.The fresh air did my appetite the world of good and I ate loads and even had a couple of drinks in the pub.The children had a whale of a time running around and we felt like a normal family for a change.
I am trying to stay busy and am sorting out birthday parties for the girls next weekend Izzy wants a  pony party and Lottie a tobogan party it would be so much easier if they both wanted the same.I know they are both starting to relax as they have started being naughty around me instead of super good and cautious.Its easy not to notice how much our illness effects children/grandchildren but they are so aware.Archie is younger he will be four soon and hasnt changed but with the girls being that bit older they are very aware of whats been going on.I only hope my illness will be soon forgotten and that this year will not have had too much of an impact on their childhood.
Next week is starting to loom large I have tests booked ready for my consultants appointment and check up the week after.My only concerns are gynae related we still havent managed to make love and I am really worried that its never going to be an option.I am certain everything else is ok but its still there as a nagging worry that the CT scan will find something lurking deep inside.
Love to all Claire.x

clur Author