Well, since last I posted to this part of the forum, a lot has happened, actually –less to do with my treatment (though there is news there, too) than with reasons to live "beyond expectations."
I do have an appointment set up with a metastatic bladder cancer specialist at MD Anderson for March. In the mean time, I'm trying to get caught up with non-cancer medical issues, teeth, blood pressure, etc. I continue to feel well, generally,
but it is hard not to panic everytime I have what could be just a little "normal" ailment. For example, I felt "bone tired" yesterday morning and was afraid I'd never have high energy again — but it came back as soon as I started teaching
my 2.5 hour class. Incidentally, I haven't told this semester's students about
my cancer yet. Last spring, I told them because I needed to take a leave; last semester, I told them before I took off my wig and went from blond to white overnight. This semester, I'm waiting to see what may emerge. Last night, one student needed to leave during class to meet with family around her
grandmother's bedside — breast cancer. I have a feeling that the time to
tell them (and contribute to awareness and advocacy) is coming.
Other news: I saw my grandbaby's first ultrasound (no he or she evidence yet),
my younger son got engaged and is planning a mid-summer wedding and I got a
grant from my university to do research for my "next book." The catch, I need
to come back in the fall to accept or refund the money. I'd honor that, but
having funding to do research and write the book this summer seems lovely.
As long as I feel fairly well, I can do parts of that work anywhere. (I'll tell anyone interested about the book.)
Anyway — I feel well today and I have so much to live for — And I have aggressive, metastatic bladder cancer that we haven't been able to shrink or stop from spreading. My best to all — Susan (mssmr)