And don’t fall into the trap of saying “I love you” online if you haven’t met yet

And don’t fall into the trap of saying “I love you” online if you haven’t met yet

There are a few “tools” that help us make further determinations. We might have a picture of the person, we might have heard the person’s voice on the phone, and we might have even be able to see them on video web camera, which overrides some of the data. If the intent is to actually “meet” this person for a date, it is important for our brain to collect as much data as it can in order for us to actually feel safe enough to meet face to face. BUT, and this is a big BUT, sadly many people never have any intention of ever venturing outside the confines of their safe little homes, in order to actually meet face to face. They are finding themselves making deep rooted connections with people online, and are getting themselves into trouble by either falling in love (without the capability to take appropriate action) or they are causing others to fall in love with them (thereby, breaking hearts, right, left and center when it has evolved to the “meeting” stage and one party has no intention of hiperlink necessГЎrio doing so). Sound familiar??

We want the opportunity to love someone, and have our love reciprocated

1) Find out right up front if the person is seeking a real time relationship, or simply wants a virtual one. Many are simply filling time and have no intention on ever leaving the comfort of their own homes to meet you, no matter how close you feel you’ve become. 2) If you are considering meeting the person in person, make sure you clearly state this disclaimer: If, when we meet, one of us is NOT attracted, it must be made known, and all aforementioned plans or activities discussed are null and void.

Since there is no visual input for the mind’s eye to focus on, the brain has to assimilate the info, the input, and the sensory exchanges, and make enough sense of it to justify the feelings being felt

3) Realize that people confide in you way more readily online, because they know they will never meet you, see you or otherwise find your knowledge of their secrets as any kind of a threat to them.

4) If you have met someone and you have both fallen in love online, realize that true love cannot truly be established until you find out whether you are in love in real time. Energy from online may not necessarily transfer, so be realistic, and save your self a lot of heartache.

5) Realize that you are probably guilty of creating a “super” mate in your mind and that meeting with expectations is one of the major things that cause problems. If you go in totally open minded, with NO expectations, you can’t possibly be disappointed.

6) Lastly, don’t think that just because you fell once and failed, that every time will be the same. Keep trying, be REAL, and some day, you might find a keeper. .

Most humans are basically the same. How we go about achieving that goal is what differs for each of us. So when we chat in instant messages or in chat rooms, we extend a part of our selves that may not normally be revealed in a person to person or “real life” scenario. Since we have no outside cues or distractions, it makes it easy for us to be totally honest, because we have nothing to lose by being so. In so doing, the connection between parties escalates at a rapid rate. The safety of extending ones emotional self across the cyber field seems to be almost unavoidable as well as incredibly fulfilling. The down side to this is that you might find yourself creating a fantasy of the person, which is totally unrealistic. This is generally what happens.

Steve Jano Author