bad news for me- also, can’t get into american bladder cancer page

well, here i am again. have muscle invasive high grade 3/3-which surgery i guess would have been the only way to save me. have copd-severe emphysema , and NOW i find out i have severe aorta stenosis !! i am at a SUPER high risk of not making it thru the surgery. on jan 7, the anesthesioligist wouldn't put me under because of severe airway obstruction, and wanted a stress echo test to see if they could. every time i go to a dr.,( the stress echo was done by a cardioligist ) i have something else severely wrong. i am only 54, i'm not ready to die yet!!! i don't even feel sick with the cancer yet. i have a differant smell about me- does anyone know if the smell is from the cancer? i have tried for some time to get on the American bladder cancer site, but i must have got on in sept. when they first found this. i don't know my password, and it must be my computer, cause it won't let me click on the lost password. i can get as  far as putting in the code words, but then nothing. gosh, i feel so helpless. my body has been weak from the emphsema, i have been fighting it for years-of course it just progessivly gets worse, now the heart thing too, and of course the cancer. the dr. STILL wants to do surgery, knowing what a high risk it is. i weigh 115 lbs. because my lungs had give me a big scare the past couple years. i know the surgery would make me loose more. i won't live thru the surgery. GOSH , no matter how much i bathe, that strange smell won't go away- does that mean i don't have long? i am petrified. i don't want to die yet. i called the cancer care center here for a second opinion. i hope to get in next week. the last treatment- turbt- was in early dec,09. nothing has been done since because they were waiting for me to be cleared from the heart dr.  ANY suggestions would be helpful. any moral support too. thank you.

Linda Troxell Author