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We have had a fantastic time I honestly couldnt believe how great and how well I felt.Promising myself this holiday was the thing that kept me focused when things were not so great.
I wasnt The Herminator or anything but skied every morning with my long suffering husband then had lunch before taking my little boy back to the hotel where we both had a nap.Most days we went back out to have the last few runs with Steve and the girls or play in the snow we even went toboganning.We went to Lech in Austria which was just perfect.The snow was lovely and the resort picture postcard our hotel was right at the bottom of the slopes which was great no lugging equipment for miles.We even had rides in horse drawn sleighs.All the mountain air lovely food and excercise did me the world of good .
Its hard to believe that two months ago I was so ill and just finishing chemotherapy.I still get tired a lot more quickly but thats improving and if I pace myself and am realistic this last week has proved I can do whatever I want.I am sure by the summer I will be pretty much my old self.There will be sticky moments and the check ups will always give me the shakes but lifes OK for now.
 To all those facing treatment there is light at the end of the tunnel and the otherside is not so bad.I have even found an advantage to having a urostomy you dont have to take your ski pants  down to wee and get a freezing bottom in mountain toilets.
 Tomorrows another hospital day for a gynae procedure to try and get rid of scar tissue left by the radical cystectomy and stretch things a bit.I cant say I am looking forward to it but really hope the end result will be worth it.
 Take care all love Claire xx
Well things are slowly getting back to normal again my walks getting slightly less like John Waynes after three days in the saddle.The weather is beautiful spring has certainly sprung.We have had a fantastic Easter break I love the children being off school its great not being restricted by the routine of it.
My hair is starting to look like hair its growing back quite well now I dont think its going to any different still fine blonde and wavy.I was hoping for lush chestnut brown and straight but at least I have hair.I am still wearing wigs to go out as its very short and I look a bit dykey but at home I am comfy without and happy that I can answer the door without scaring people.Mum and Dad are having a holiday and its strange without them I have become so dependant on their popping in whilst I have been ill.
Its quite hard to get used to the idea of not being ill anymore its become a sort of shield from the real world.Everyone has wrapped me in cotton wool for the last nine months or so and I really havent had to deal with day to day living.I have been incredably spoilt and looked after and very lucky with the support I have had from everyone people on here included.Things are slowly changing and I am slowly being handed back control and its scarey.Friends and family are starting to revert to how our relationships were before I was ill and I must too.I thought I was in control all the time but now I realise how much everyone else was doing to make things easy.Its hard to describe how it feels but it makes me feel quite scared as to whether I can still do it all.
I suppose its just the next stage and like everything else the last year has thrown at me things will seem normal again very quickly.Thats probably the biggest lesson I have learnt.Whatever happens it quickly becomes normal and we all adapt.
 Golly I must be feeling philoshophical this evening the sun must have got to me.
  Take care love Claire xx

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